If you want to be dominant you should work on your confidence. It’s not about causing pain, it’s all about charisma. A true dominant can make his/her sub tingle and shiver with only with his/her voice for example.
Sorry, but I think this is the sort of answer which I think is so full of the “tumblr dom” cliches that we can’t see the trees for the bullshit.
Honestly, if you’re in a relationship with someone, yes, you can attempt to be more confident, charismatic, and that will help. But know this: There is no “true dominant”. This is a phrase bounded around by dominants, and always makes me sigh and shake my head.
Firstly it ignores the differences between bedroom only dominance and lifestyle dominance, and it also implies that there is some domliest of domly bar to which all doms are held to. This is bollocks. If you want to jump on your boyfriend, and tie him up, you don’t have to make him “tingle at your voice.”
That’s hyper-romanticised nonsense. Granted: I have come across that. But this is real life. You know as well as anyone that experiences in long-term relationships don’t always match the romanticised hype.
So. For starters, right at the beginning…you don’t have to make him tingle, you don’t have to make him shudder, and you don’t have to make him shiver. You know what you could do? Right at the start? Before you begin? Talk to him.
It could be a “how about I take over” before jumping in, or it could be an actual conversation, depending on how intensely dominant you want to be. But seriously, don’t expect him to shivver at your voice, and be disappointed when he’s confused. Just communicate with him. Somehow, let him know you want to be dominant.
Because in the world of bdsm, where people can be emotionally or physically hurt (and not in a fun way) at any point, communication is abso-fucking-lutely key. It’s good to get into the habit of seeing through the bullshit, and communicating.
If my past subs can shout “red” when I caned their clits too hard, I’m sure you could muster a sexy hint to him that you want to take charge.
having my speakers under my bed is actually pretty gr8
the music box version of radioactive - imagine dragons sounds really soothing,
I’ve never understood my parent’s relationship with each other and I never will
They practically hate each another a lot but they’re in love and stuff I think well kinda. Part of me thinks they learned to love but other parts of me hope they always liked each other or wtvr
But ahhhhhhh as long as I don’t have a marriage like theirs I’m good